Move from old blog Post on 10 October 2011
Monday, start with a sleepy mod. Nothing special. Like usual he make me feel that I'm a girlfriend to somebody. But.. worst thing happen.. my bestian cry in front of me.. what should I do? I try to cool her down.. I'm really hurt when she say don't touch me.. But I know she have been hurt by me too, maybe more deeply the hurt from me to her.. I'm not really good in EQ this stuff. Always let my feeling to control my mind, and I damn sick with this. I wish I can have another me.. I only can do one things in a time.. I need miracle! Damn.. I hate myself to hurt lotss of people.. Hate it! I never wanna someone sad about mee.. I admit it.. I have change.. like other say forget about the friend.. But I really cannot do anything.. I have try hard to make he and she become friend.. But I'm fail.. He not a patient person, seriously. He cannot cover her joke.. and maybe sometimes she was just simple joke with him but he take it to heart, I told you he was not a patient person.. He ask me to company she well.. Don't care about him.. Alvin Josua Tay are you really wanna to kill me? How the damn can I dun care about you? Too much tears for today.. Calling about 1hour thats almost half of that I'm crying.. For she, for he.. He have make a choice to me.. He wanna me to company her well.. But I have say that, I really did not want to see her sad and tears And the other side I cannot leave he alone.. Soo what should I do? Divide me into two? Is that posible? If can I surely do it without thinking.. I tell him, I cannot choose between he and she.. I just cannot.. I tell he.. It is more good if never have Icole in their both life.. Maybe they won't get hurt because of me.. Arggghhh Really what should I do now? I don't want to lose both of them.. Soo I ask he to not care about her.. If she say something that he did't like I hope and I bag him to ignore that.. I don't want they both to get hurt again because of me.. Really did't want! And for she, if you read this post.. I love all of you, really. I love all of you. Please forgive me if I hurt you.. Even though I always stay with he, but still my heart never ever change. I love all of you :') If you are sad, please talk to me. Just you know, I'm not really [ biasa ] to talk with someone first. Tell me if you are sad, and I always be there for you, surely. Dear bestian, I love you :) Can you know me well? I love to stick with him just because I totally fall with him. I'm sure that you know about this too. Yeaaa? I often be with him, but did't mean that you cannot find me anymore. I'm still the Icole you know.. I have never change, my heart my attitude and my love to all of you. Hope you will understand what I'm trying to say.. Do you? Dahh.. its enough for today.. I'm tired.. Cry a lot.. Heart you blogger Heart you laogong Heart you bestian :')
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