♥ Our memory II :)

Spend lots of time with laogong ♥

30 December 2011 :)

he look cuteee! hhee

lol :P hhee

my eye .. look weird hhaa

like ghost .. xD

he said look hensem wahh hahaaa

sooo .. cuteeeee hhee

♥ :)

he look seriously "beautiful in this picture lol haha

peace . hehe

:3 cute hehe

my man :)

:D

big eye yeaaa heheee

dnt knw what he watching hahaaaa

still .. well hahaaa

finally watch my camera hahaaaa

:)

look moreee fattt hahaaa

cuteee cutee :3

calling .. to his .. gay one maybe hahaaa jokee :)

most happy moment of this year :D

love you so much laogong!

muakk! hhee >.<

♥ A.I ♥

end with a worst feeling ..

talk about my day .. I'm sad from morning ..  just the feeling of sad .. I call him and wanna to tell him that I'm sad .. but he did't pick up my call .. I guess he still sleeping .. so I decide to talk to my mom .. but I forgot that they went to kenigau edy .. no one at home .. I'm alone .. I wanna to talk to someone but no one around me .. :'( .. so I continue my sleep with a totally sad mod .. then I wake around 2p.m .. and they has back .. and also some children went to my house .. so I have surrounding with a happy mod .. then calling with him .. after a while he have something to do so we end up our call .. so then .. I went to living room to talk to my dady and my family .. since a long time I did't sit and talk with them .. then .. so then .. I'm bored and webcam-ing with my mom sister and brother .. 

here was the pic we have :)

my mom pretty isn't she? .. :) 

then I went to take a bath .. and after I bath .. I start to on9 and continue webcam-ing .. I decide to make some photo to him and hope that he will knw how much I miss him .. almost every time I'm thinking of him .. before I went to sleep .. after I'm awake .. the first thing on my mind was him .. how about him?.. I akways wonder about this .. did he even have figure out of me even once? .. I dnt knw ..

I made this with bear Alvin ..

we both miss him a lot ..

and this was my own ..

and after that I upload to facebook .. and chat with him .. he need to go after a while .. he offline and I tell him I will call him later .. then I watch my drama .. he say he have to take a bath so that he end the call .. then when I call later .. he still not yet bath .. and he ask me to sleep .. I say I dnt wanna to sleep .. actually I just wanna some attention from him .. but he seem like dnt understand .. he get mad .. and tell that he went to bath and ask me to sleep .. then once again .. without say a word .. he direct end the call .. even a gudnyte  .. he did't say to me .. and like usual .. I cry ..

ugly right? .. I knw it ..

my tears was so cheap to everyone ..

he say that he dislike that I did't listen to him .. and here I tell you laogong .. I did listen ! every single word .. I keep it .. I never do thing that you dislike me to do .. I listen to you .. I just wanna our call can longer .. I did not want to end up our call .. I'm just try to keep your attention to me .. and if I do something that you dislike .. forgive me .. I'm sorry I did't mean to .. dnt be mad .. not good for your health .. I won't disturb you if you did't want to hear me and see me .. I'm sorry for everything ..

Gudnyte laogong .. even you did't hear me .. 

Sleep well kay :')

♥ A.I ♥

hey hey ! :)

erm .. hehe .. well I'm happy right now :) ..

just here to say hey ! to Mr, Blogger and do some simple update :D 

today .. hm .. nothing special bout me .. 

a whole day just watching a drama .. 

and by the way I love it ! really a good drama :) 

 Title : 潜行狙击

a cantonese drama . about police and gengster :)

why not try to watch it? .. hehe

 and about him .. well ..

I must to say that game really seem like important to a guy .. -.-

say that headache ..

but after take a panadol then continue game-ing .. '

duhh .. really ..

hmmm ...

dnt knw lahhhhh ..

he always dnt knw how to take care him self ..

always make me worry ..

sometimes really like wanna yell loudly to him ..

please take care of yourself kay !

hahahhahahaaaa >.< ...

and I dnt knw that he still keep on reading our blog ..

I though that he forget about this blog liaoo ..

hahahahaaa ..

kay .. I'm gonna to off ..

have promise him sleep before 2 o'clock :)'

gudnyte Mr. Blogger and heart you ..

I will say gudnyte to laogong soon ..

hehehe ..

soo .. Nyte world :) 

♥ A.I ♥

for you ♥ !

A picture of me to Mr. Blogger .

Thanks for being with me everytime :) .

Abit weird . Heheee >.<|||

Dnt mind it :D
and when I'm taking picture of myself ..
scary thing happen ..
try to cover right side of my face and see  ..
then cover the left side of my face and see it ..
you will get a totally different face of both side ! ..
right? .. Hhahahaaa
dahh .. nonsense -.- Hehehe
sooo .. nyte human ! ..'
gonna to sleep ..
Heart you Mr. Blogger ..
Heart you too laogong :) ..

here was Mr. Alvin :)
my laogong ..
the one who cute , caring , crazy in game and love me :)

♥ A.I ♥ 

something change ..

Fuhhh .. read the post title .. I feel that .. something really change between us .. maybe I was thinking too much .. or maybe .. it really hve change :( .. I hope that just was my feeling .. hey blogger .. I'm really worry right nw .. I afraid that he will leave me .. he became more lose patient with me .. even that he say he did not .. but he give me that feeling .. olden when I say nothing or merajuk he sure will keep patient and then ask me why .. nw .. he ask too .. but just ask for a while then he will get impatient with me .. he will mad and say something like " kay , up to you .. " or directly end the call .. maybe he did't knw that everytime he end the call and not saying a thing .. my heart really get hurt .. or this impatient was a attitude of the another side of him that he say that? .. I think not .. he have lose patient with me and I feel it .. someone say that the one who love deeply , the more he/she getting hurt .. and I love him deeply .. no matter accidenly or not I have get hurt .. this was the first changes .. the next was .. I feel that he can live without me .. and that moment when I feel like this .. I'm dying inside .. :'( .. I have tell that I really love thinking too much .. I truely hope that this was just my feeling .. but not the truth .. olden we msg or call to each other almost everytime .. but nw .. msg a few .. he always hve something to do .. and the most I mad at was he always suddenly missing by not telling me .. did he knw how much I worry about him? .. I guess he never knw .. can he just send a simple msg that tell me he was going buzy so that I won't keep on waiting his msg and worry about him? .. just take a few minute to tell .. or less then a minute .. I really hate crying .. my head really ache because crying too much .. I dnt want to cry but everytime he give me this kind of feeling then my tears will came down .. I cnt control it .. and everytime I merajuk or mad .. he always then text and call me and like nothing happen .. did he really dnt knw my feeling? .. that I'm hurt and I'm sad .. call .. call for a while then he have somthing to do .. I knw live must go on .. I'm not asking he to company and pay attention to me all the time .. I just wanna some attention from him .. he can watch his tv show then stop texting with me .. I dnt understant that when watching tv show then cnt replay msg? .. cnt text? .. he dnt knw that everytime he text with me I stop all the thing I do to replay him .. and what I get .. he replay like he was boring to text .. and then text for while he got to go .. he never knw I have put down everything that I do to text or call with him .. everytime I msg and call with a happy mod .. then he hurt me again and again by the attitude of impatient and I can clearly feel that he was boring to text with me .. seriously .. I cnt feel his love his care to me this few day .. but still .. I take this all .. I stand strong .. because I'm loving him so much .. I cnt live without him .. I try to trust that our love will last forever .. you will work hard to keep our relationship right laogong? .. I believe that you will .. please dnt despair with me .. dnt despair with our relation .. he dnt knw that why I love to cry .. the only reason was I'm afraid to lose you laogong .. are you feel bored with me? .. do you still loving me? .. please be honest .. tell me if you dnt need me anymore .. I will leave .. away from your life .. I'm crying all along when I'm typing this post , like usual .. and my headache came to me again .. I got to go nw .. thanks again blogger .. heart you dear blogger .. nyte ..

Chrismas was coming soon ! :')

can I have a wish please? ..

I wish that he and my family healthy and keep happy :)

thats all I wish .. nothing much ..

dear santa please bring the biggest happinest to him and my family :')

dear god .. please bless him and my family .. 

for me .. nothing much .. as they happy and health ..

thats enough for me :')

 ♥ A.I ♥

Hey blogger .. :'(

hey blogger .. such a long time did't update .. this is because nothing really happen during this holiday .. everytime I update must have something to share .. good nor bad .. and nw .. it's bad .. I try to being buzy with my drama , online and something else .. to forget my sadness .. but everytime I stop doing things .. my brain automaticly remain me of him .. and so then my tears being to fall down .. my day start with a totally badmod .. I try to sleep at 2a.m or over .. but then some stupid guys keep on making noise .. I feel like killing someone that time .. I need him by my side .. my heart did't seem like peace .. he sleep early .. all then I send him a msg to tell him I need him .. Wait for his respond and then I fall asleep .. I wake up at 10 a.m and check my phone there is nothing .. I wait for his msg and keep on holding my phone so that I won't miss anything from him .. but wait and wait .. he finally msg me at 1 o'clock over in the afternoon .. and he tell me that he was being on the town .. moddown .. I feel I'm nothing much to him .. why don't msg me when he decide to went out?.. I feel like he just to inform me .. do I really a wife or even a girlfriend like he say?.. I wonder .. I re-read my blog and everything about him .. and I find out he really a part of my life .. my tears for him happy tears nor tears of sad more then my tears for anything else .. so then I wait for his msg every minute .. even I knw that he is buzying playing his game .. dnt hve time to msg with me .. I'm not say that I did't like he game-ing .. sit at my bed and looking my phone waiting a msg from him like a crazy people .. I did't replay his msg .. I hope that he will get to knw that I'm losing and then try to find me .. and ofcourse .. only that I hope .. he did't send a word .. my sis came and ask me to company her to hve a haircut .. the first thing that pop out on my mind was .. " I can get a meet with him.! " .. even just a while .. I tell him that I'm going with my sis and I expect that he will ask me for a meet .. but he don't .. just to ask me to take care .. seem like buzying with his game .. so then I ask him for a meet .. once again I expect that he will say yes .. but seem like I really dnt knw how much a game important to a guy .. he say that there hve some people at there .. my heart going down and down .. and ask to my self .. who am I?.. dnt be silly Icole .. I almost cry looking at his msg at saloon .. I should not expect he to stop his game for a while just to meet me .. I feel that I'm nothing much .. on the way back to home a ugly fatty guy stand at me and my sister front and block our way .. my sis brave enough to pass by him .. so she walk away soon .. I did't mad at my sis because of going away .. maybe she expect that I knw how to handle that situation .. the old me maybe strong enough to face and give a punch to that ugly fatty guy .. but nw after that I knw there were always someone to protect me .. I start to being more coward .. I'm not strong enough ..  I need someone like him to peotect me .. a hope .. I knw .. then that ugly fatty guy start to make some noise that like " ahh ahh ahh " some like that I guess you guys understand what I mean .. I look at him with my angry face and then walk pass by his side .. then walk with my sis .. this case maybe happen only a minute or more .. but no one knw I'm really scare at that moment .. even my sis did't knw that I'm really scare because I smile like usual to she so that she won't worry .. my mind only appear him at that time .. start to think about if he by my side he won't let this kind of things happen .. I guess .. then and then we went home .. and my mod get a little bit good because I feel that the worm from my family .. then my head getting ache .. so I decide to take a nap .. before I went to get my nap I call him so that he went home early .. and he hve do what I want .. just me that don't believe him .. he told me that did't hve any buss already and I ask that if he try to get a buss after I call him?.. and he did say yes but me that don't believe with him .. my fault .. he getting hurt by my untrust .. I should believe with him .. but soon my heart and mod going down again when he say mind your own bisness .. I knw that was only a word that after he getting hurt .. I should not care but my heart really ache .. and so then he say he don't need someone that just to love and care .. he need a person that believe in him .. I knw he is trying to tell me to believe with him .. but that sentence make me figure out my unprefect .. I'm not the one he want to .. I'm sad .. really sad .. did that mean he finally get to knw that I'm not really good as he expect?.. did that mean that he will leave me?.. there are too much quetion and sadness .. I can't take it all .. my head getting ache .. someone can help me?.. I feel better to type out my feeling .. thatks again blogger .. I gonna go nw .. bye human .. 

below are the moon at 10 december 2011 .
beautiful right?.. snap with my phone :)
I love moon .. moon remain me of him ..
I miss him right now .. I need him by my side .. :'(

♥ A.I ♥ 

Heartache .. Really kill me .. :'(

I end the call .. my head really ache and cannot think anything and I cannot talk about anything because of I'm crying .. I felt sorry but nothing I can do .. he hate silence and I hard to talk anymore because of my tears and voice .. Better end the call so that he could cool down his mind and won't be crazy of my silence .. Good to him .. I knw that he won't msg me .. and I don't want to annoy him .. will be a sad night without him .. :'( </3 .. *Crying mode* He say it's useless to cry for the thing that past Yeaa I knw it's damn useless .. But my tears keep coming out .. Thats was because my heart .. really ache .. I'm mad of him because of not keep his promise to me .. Same reason that again and again .. He say he was the type that following people say .. I'm too But the different between us was When follow the other talk or ask or even action I will first think that am I should do that? .. and before doing that I always think about the one I love and the one that love me .. He .. he doing the thing that harmful to himself base on the surrounding and the one near by him .. he never think the one who care about him .. I bet he not that do not think but he forget there is someone who will cry and worry about him .. he forget when it's time for him to do what he love to .. I'm heartache more than mad at him .. really sick .. Hollygudness.! 1st time my tears .. do not stop from calling till now .. Non-stop .. I can feel that my eye going blind .. tears that non-stop computer effect .. And the headache since afternoon .. more again the women problem .. Eye, head, women problem .. From fizikal to mental I think I really can die .. Thats all for today I'm going to hve some panadol, Again .. Too much of panadol for this week .. Not good .. :( And I'm happy that can get to meet him today .. day become worst from evening .. All I hope was God please bless him and my family and I hope .. really hope that he can keep away from cigarette .. Amen .. :'( keep on the crying mode .. Heart you blogger :'( .. 

Really need a hug now .. :'( 

All I can do was hug Alvin and imagine that he is with me ..

♥ A.I ♥