something change ..

Fuhhh .. read the post title .. I feel that .. something really change between us .. maybe I was thinking too much .. or maybe .. it really hve change :( .. I hope that just was my feeling .. hey blogger .. I'm really worry right nw .. I afraid that he will leave me .. he became more lose patient with me .. even that he say he did not .. but he give me that feeling .. olden when I say nothing or merajuk he sure will keep patient and then ask me why .. nw .. he ask too .. but just ask for a while then he will get impatient with me .. he will mad and say something like " kay , up to you .. " or directly end the call .. maybe he did't knw that everytime he end the call and not saying a thing .. my heart really get hurt .. or this impatient was a attitude of the another side of him that he say that? .. I think not .. he have lose patient with me and I feel it .. someone say that the one who love deeply , the more he/she getting hurt .. and I love him deeply .. no matter accidenly or not I have get hurt .. this was the first changes .. the next was .. I feel that he can live without me .. and that moment when I feel like this .. I'm dying inside .. :'( .. I have tell that I really love thinking too much .. I truely hope that this was just my feeling .. but not the truth .. olden we msg or call to each other almost everytime .. but nw .. msg a few .. he always hve something to do .. and the most I mad at was he always suddenly missing by not telling me .. did he knw how much I worry about him? .. I guess he never knw .. can he just send a simple msg that tell me he was going buzy so that I won't keep on waiting his msg and worry about him? .. just take a few minute to tell .. or less then a minute .. I really hate crying .. my head really ache because crying too much .. I dnt want to cry but everytime he give me this kind of feeling then my tears will came down .. I cnt control it .. and everytime I merajuk or mad .. he always then text and call me and like nothing happen .. did he really dnt knw my feeling? .. that I'm hurt and I'm sad .. call .. call for a while then he have somthing to do .. I knw live must go on .. I'm not asking he to company and pay attention to me all the time .. I just wanna some attention from him .. he can watch his tv show then stop texting with me .. I dnt understant that when watching tv show then cnt replay msg? .. cnt text? .. he dnt knw that everytime he text with me I stop all the thing I do to replay him .. and what I get .. he replay like he was boring to text .. and then text for while he got to go .. he never knw I have put down everything that I do to text or call with him .. everytime I msg and call with a happy mod .. then he hurt me again and again by the attitude of impatient and I can clearly feel that he was boring to text with me .. seriously .. I cnt feel his love his care to me this few day .. but still .. I take this all .. I stand strong .. because I'm loving him so much .. I cnt live without him .. I try to trust that our love will last forever .. you will work hard to keep our relationship right laogong? .. I believe that you will .. please dnt despair with me .. dnt despair with our relation .. he dnt knw that why I love to cry .. the only reason was I'm afraid to lose you laogong .. are you feel bored with me? .. do you still loving me? .. please be honest .. tell me if you dnt need me anymore .. I will leave .. away from your life .. I'm crying all along when I'm typing this post , like usual .. and my headache came to me again .. I got to go nw .. thanks again blogger .. heart you dear blogger .. nyte ..

Chrismas was coming soon ! :')

can I have a wish please? ..

I wish that he and my family healthy and keep happy :)

thats all I wish .. nothing much ..

dear santa please bring the biggest happinest to him and my family :')

dear god .. please bless him and my family .. 

for me .. nothing much .. as they happy and health ..

thats enough for me :')

 ♥ A.I ♥