Heartache .. Really kill me .. :'(

I end the call .. my head really ache and cannot think anything and I cannot talk about anything because of I'm crying .. I felt sorry but nothing I can do .. he hate silence and I hard to talk anymore because of my tears and voice .. Better end the call so that he could cool down his mind and won't be crazy of my silence .. Good to him .. I knw that he won't msg me .. and I don't want to annoy him .. will be a sad night without him .. :'( </3 .. *Crying mode* He say it's useless to cry for the thing that past Yeaa I knw it's damn useless .. But my tears keep coming out .. Thats was because my heart .. really ache .. I'm mad of him because of not keep his promise to me .. Same reason that again and again .. He say he was the type that following people say .. I'm too But the different between us was When follow the other talk or ask or even action I will first think that am I should do that? .. and before doing that I always think about the one I love and the one that love me .. He .. he doing the thing that harmful to himself base on the surrounding and the one near by him .. he never think the one who care about him .. I bet he not that do not think but he forget there is someone who will cry and worry about him .. he forget when it's time for him to do what he love to .. I'm heartache more than mad at him .. really sick .. Hollygudness.! 1st time my tears .. do not stop from calling till now .. Non-stop .. I can feel that my eye going blind .. tears that non-stop computer effect .. And the headache since afternoon .. more again the women problem .. Eye, head, women problem .. From fizikal to mental I think I really can die .. Thats all for today I'm going to hve some panadol, Again .. Too much of panadol for this week .. Not good .. :( And I'm happy that can get to meet him today .. day become worst from evening .. All I hope was God please bless him and my family and I hope .. really hope that he can keep away from cigarette .. Amen .. :'( keep on the crying mode .. Heart you blogger :'( .. 

Really need a hug now .. :'( 

All I can do was hug Alvin and imagine that he is with me ..

♥ A.I ♥