hey blogger .. such a long time did't update .. this is because nothing really happen during this holiday .. everytime I update must have something to share .. good nor bad .. and nw .. it's bad .. I try to being buzy with my drama , online and something else .. to forget my sadness .. but everytime I stop doing things .. my brain automaticly remain me of him .. and so then my tears being to fall down .. my day start with a totally badmod .. I try to sleep at 2a.m or over .. but then some stupid guys keep on making noise .. I feel like killing someone that time .. I need him by my side .. my heart did't seem like peace .. he sleep early .. all then I send him a msg to tell him I need him .. Wait for his respond and then I fall asleep .. I wake up at 10 a.m and check my phone there is nothing .. I wait for his msg and keep on holding my phone so that I won't miss anything from him .. but wait and wait .. he finally msg me at 1 o'clock over in the afternoon .. and he tell me that he was being on the town .. moddown .. I feel I'm nothing much to him .. why don't msg me when he decide to went out?.. I feel like he just to inform me .. do I really a wife or even a girlfriend like he say?.. I wonder .. I re-read my blog and everything about him .. and I find out he really a part of my life .. my tears for him happy tears nor tears of sad more then my tears for anything else .. so then I wait for his msg every minute .. even I knw that he is buzying playing his game .. dnt hve time to msg with me .. I'm not say that I did't like he game-ing .. sit at my bed and looking my phone waiting a msg from him like a crazy people .. I did't replay his msg .. I hope that he will get to knw that I'm losing and then try to find me .. and ofcourse .. only that I hope .. he did't send a word .. my sis came and ask me to company her to hve a haircut .. the first thing that pop out on my mind was .. " I can get a meet with him.! " .. even just a while .. I tell him that I'm going with my sis and I expect that he will ask me for a meet .. but he don't .. just to ask me to take care .. seem like buzying with his game .. so then I ask him for a meet .. once again I expect that he will say yes .. but seem like I really dnt knw how much a game important to a guy .. he say that there hve some people at there .. my heart going down and down .. and ask to my self .. who am I?.. dnt be silly Icole .. I almost cry looking at his msg at saloon .. I should not expect he to stop his game for a while just to meet me .. I feel that I'm nothing much .. on the way back to home a ugly fatty guy stand at me and my sister front and block our way .. my sis brave enough to pass by him .. so she walk away soon .. I did't mad at my sis because of going away .. maybe she expect that I knw how to handle that situation .. the old me maybe strong enough to face and give a punch to that ugly fatty guy .. but nw after that I knw there were always someone to protect me .. I start to being more coward .. I'm not strong enough .. I need someone like him to peotect me .. a hope .. I knw .. then that ugly fatty guy start to make some noise that like " ahh ahh ahh " some like that I guess you guys understand what I mean .. I look at him with my angry face and then walk pass by his side .. then walk with my sis .. this case maybe happen only a minute or more .. but no one knw I'm really scare at that moment .. even my sis did't knw that I'm really scare because I smile like usual to she so that she won't worry .. my mind only appear him at that time .. start to think about if he by my side he won't let this kind of things happen .. I guess .. then and then we went home .. and my mod get a little bit good because I feel that the worm from my family .. then my head getting ache .. so I decide to take a nap .. before I went to get my nap I call him so that he went home early .. and he hve do what I want .. just me that don't believe him .. he told me that did't hve any buss already and I ask that if he try to get a buss after I call him?.. and he did say yes but me that don't believe with him .. my fault .. he getting hurt by my untrust .. I should believe with him .. but soon my heart and mod going down again when he say mind your own bisness .. I knw that was only a word that after he getting hurt .. I should not care but my heart really ache .. and so then he say he don't need someone that just to love and care .. he need a person that believe in him .. I knw he is trying to tell me to believe with him .. but that sentence make me figure out my unprefect .. I'm not the one he want to .. I'm sad .. really sad .. did that mean he finally get to knw that I'm not really good as he expect?.. did that mean that he will leave me?.. there are too much quetion and sadness .. I can't take it all .. my head getting ache .. someone can help me?.. I feel better to type out my feeling .. thatks again blogger .. I gonna go nw .. bye human ..
below are the moon at 10 december 2011 .
beautiful right?.. snap with my phone :)
I love moon .. moon remain me of him ..
I miss him right now .. I need him by my side .. :'(
♥ A.I ♥
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